Homeward Bound

I am going home TOMORROW. This time tomorrow, I will be on an airplane.

I could not be effing happier.


I really earned my trip home and my week off this week - this was one of the most hellish weeks of work of my life, but everything magically worked out, and I feel really proud of myself. I was worried that I'd have to spend my entire vacation thinking about work and having to work even though I was on PTO, but everything is okay and worked out.

We had our Ariba Christmas Party last Thursday and it was a lot of fun. So much fun, in fact, that we all ended up staying until nearly 3:00 AM, and I stayed in the whole weekend. Well, in the nights, anyway - I went shopping all day on Saturday with Beliza, along with a nice middle eastern lunch and a coffee later in the day to warm up.

This week as I said has been full of work, and last minute things to do before my trip. But tomorrow is the big day - I am almost hugging Mom, driving around aimlessly with Tara and Ash, going for a drink to bitch about a hard day of work with Maira, and cuddling with Nalo.

It's going to be a really great two weeks :)


Adios, Prague!

Great Conversations

This past weekend was one long party. During this party I met a lot of people and had some really great conversations. Here are a few:

In Akropolis, there was a popper dancing his heart out. He was Asian but also Czech. Nearby there was a strippery ho dancing her heart out, too.
Me: Excuse me, do you speak English?
Czasian: A little!
Me: You should challenge that girl to a dance-off.
Czasian: A what? Sorry, I don't understand.
Me: You and that girl should have a dance challenge.
Czasian: A battle?
Me: YES! A battle!
Czasian: You want me to dance battle with her?
Me: More than anything.
Czasian: No.. she baaad dancer.


Henrique started to party-boy a guy on our walk home. He danced up to him and then danced away. I was left standing with the Czech stranger, who was probably around my age.
Guy: Your friend is funny!
Me: I know, he is party boy.
Guy: You are party girl?
Me: Sure!
Guy: It's nice! You are American?
Me: Yes I am! Do you want an American-style hug? (I give these out pretty frequently)
Guy: Yes it's ok! (we hugged) Do you want marijuana?
Me: No... thanks, but no.
Guy: Come on... it's marijuana! For you!
Me: That's okay. I go now.
(walked away)


Henrique: Hey Ujezd is right here!
Me: What? Nuh uh, we're in Žižkov.
Henrique: No! Ujezd is here! Right up ahead, come on! (sprinting away)
Me (to a random street guy): Pardon, ne mluvim česky. Kamarad says we are in Ujezd. I say Žižkov. Who is right?!
Guy: Ah, we are in Žižkov. You are right.
Me: (hugs guy)
Guy: Thank you.


We got on a tram to go home and there was a guy in the seat behind me, fast asleep. Admittedly, I was drunk, and I suddenly became very concerned that the guy would miss his stop.
Sleeping guy: zzzzzzz
Tram voice: Národní třída. Příští zastávka, Národní divadlo.
Me (in a loud whisper, right toward the guy's ear): Národní třída!!
Sleeping guy: zzzzzz
Tram voice: Národní divadlo. Příští zastávka, Ujezd.
Me (same whisper toward the guy's ear): Národní divadlo!!
Sleeping guy: zzzzzzz
Tram voice: Ujezd. Příští zastávka, Švandovo divadlo.
Me: Ujezd!!
Sleeping guy: zzzzzzz
Tram voice: Švandovo divadlo. Příští zastávka, Arbesovo náměstí.
Me: Švandovo divadlo!!
Sleeping guy: zzzzzzz
Tram voice: Arbesovo náměstí. Příští zastávka, Anděl.
Me: Arbesovo náměstí!!
Sleeping guy: zzzzzzz
Tram voice: Anděl. Příští zastávka, Bertramka.
Me: Anděl!! This is my zastávka... I have to go... na shledanou...

I don't know if he made it or not....

Then I went to Rincon Latino to use their bathroom. As I reached the corner to walk home I saw a stray dog that was obviously looking for food. I was about to go buy him a sandwich to eat, when an Italian man came up and started talking to me. I spoke Spanish in an Italian accent to explain that I wanted to feed this dog that was still rummaging around the immediate area. We went to the store and the guy insisted on buying 2 sandwiches - one for him to eat, and one for me to give to the dog. I never did find the dog again but we walked around for a good 30 minutes looking for it and whistling. I think he was partyboy too...

Then I started to walk home and got tired, so I sat on a bench at the bus station, where I knew a bus would not come soon but I just wanted to rest for 5 minutes. A few minutes later a Czech guy came and sat near me and started talking to me in Czech. I explained in Czech that I do not speak Czech, that I am a foreigner, and that I am here (just a few things I know how to say:). He spoke some English and then he asked where I was from. I said I am American. He said, "But your parents? You don't look completely American."
"My dad is from Palestine."
"Ah, I see. I do not like them."
"Don't like who?"
"Muslims."
"...why? Are you jewish?"
"No... but I don't like.. um.. how you say.. make explode."
"But not all muslims explode..."
"Well.. hmm.. maybe. This is what you think."
"No.. I don't think this, I know this. Not all muslims explode. Nobody in my family ever exploded, and they are muslims."
"Well, if you say, hey, is okay."
"You make me want to explode you."
"What?"
"Nothing, I have to go."
I got up and started to walk away sadly. He yelled after me, "Sorry!" but I didn't respond. As I was walking up the hill in the cold, the bus passed me by, his face whizzing past me as he looked out the window.




The next night at Cross Club...

Drugged out hippie girl: (walks by and begins to caress my face and hair)
Henrique: (laughing and pointing at me)
Me: (not knowing how to react and just standing there being caressed)
Girl: (still caressing my face and touching my hair) (mumbles in Czech)
Me: Ne mluvim česky...
Girl: You are veeeery nice woman!! (stumbles away)


All in all it was a great weekend. :)

Rat Cream

Today I was having a conversation over a pizza lunch with Henrique.

Me: Did you ever hear that fable about the donkey in the hole?
Henrique: No, I don't think so.. which one is that?
Me: I forget the details, but something about how the donkey is trapped in a hole, and he's old, so rather than try to get him out, the people start to just throw dirt on him to bury him. But with every bit of dirt that they throw in, he begins to climb up bit by bit, and he ends up getting out of the whole.
Henrique: Ah yeah, that's a nice moral. I heard that story before but not with a donkey.. it was about a rat who turned into a cream.
Me: (outburst of laughter at the absurdity)... WHAT?!?!
Henrique: Really! A rat in a blender.. he turns into cream... something like this. I can't remember the details.
Me: (still laughing)
Henrique: The rat... he is in this liquid... and there's a mixer, you know that thing that you use to mix... and it turns to cream.. so he climbs out.
Me: So the rat is part of the cream? It's a rat in a blender?
Henrique: I can't remember, I just know that the liquid becomes a cream and he climbs out.
Me: So the rat is okay? The rat isn't part of the cream...
Henrique: No, he climbs out!! I will find it for you on the internet. It's a true story.

Upon him saying in his most little-boy-man-voice, "It's a true story!" I really lost it. I fell into a hole of laughter so deep that I needed townspeople to throw dirt on me so I could climb out again.


If only I didn't have to return to work after so much fun...